“To the moon Alice!” TB Yevamot 116

Under normal circumstances, testimony of one witness testifying that a woman’s husband is dead is accepted. Based on this testimony she is allowed to remarry. The Gemara gave two possible reasons why this testimony is believed. The first reason is since the matter is likely to be revealed and one does not lie in a case of this kind. If she remarries and her original husband is still alive the penalties imposed upon her are severe. Consequently, the second reason is that the woman will do her due diligence and investigate herself whether her husband is truly dead or not.

Even a woman is believed when she says that her husband is dead when certain conditions are met. (Remember in classical Jewish law women cannot become kosher witnesses.) “MISHNA: With regard to a woman who went, she and her husband, overseas, if there was peace between him and her, i.e., the couple were not fighting at the time, and there was also peace in the world, i.e., there was no war at that time, and the woman came back by herself and said: My husband died, she may marry on the basis of her own testimony. Likewise, if she said: My husband died, and they did not have children, but her husband had a brother, she may enter into levirate marriage.” (TB Yevamot 114b, Sefaria.org translation)

The Mishnah continues providing circumstances when she isn’t believed. One such case is the following. “If there was a quarrel between him and her and peace in the world, and she came and said: My husband died, she is not deemed credible.” (TB Yevamot 114b, Sefaria.org translation)

Today’s daf TB Yevamot 116 wonders what would be the threshold of marital discord that would disqualify her testimony.

“The mishna taught: If there was a quarrel between him and her, her testimony that her husband died is not accepted. The Gemara asks: What are the circumstances of a quarrel between him and her? Rav Yehuda said that Shmuel said: This is a case where people heard her say to her husband: Divorce me. The Gemara asks: Is this proof? All women likewise say this when they are angry; this does not prove that there was an unresolved quarrel left between them.” All married couples argue and when they are angry they say things that they don’t mean literally. Here the rabbis say that it is common for an angry wife to say something like, “If you don’t like what I’m doing, divorce me.” Just like when Ralph Kramden would say to his wife when he was angry, “To the moon Alice!” he didn’t mean it literally.

“Rather, a quarrel is when she says to her husband: You divorced me, i.e., she claims that she was actually divorced. The Gemara asks: If she said to her husband that he divorced her, let us believe her claim, in accordance with the statement of Rav Hamnuna. As Rav Hamnuna said: A woman who said to her husband: You divorced me, is deemed credible. Why? There is a presumption that a woman would not dare to lie in the presence of her husband about a matter which he knows to be untrue. If so, why isn’t her claim that she was divorced accepted? This would mean that there is no need for any testimony concerning his death, as the ties between them have already been severed.

“The Gemara answers: In fact, a couple is considered to be quarreling when she says: You divorced me in the presence of two witnesses, so-and-so and so-and-so; and the court asked those men and they said: This matter never happened. In this case it is obvious that there was a terrible quarrel between them, but her claim that she was divorced is not accepted. Consequently, her later claim that her husband is dead is not accepted.” (Sefaria.org translation)

I believe that the Gemara here is trying to help the woman by minimizing the threshold of marital discord. By doing so they allow her to remarry and continue on with her life instead being an agunah.

In the rare case of true marital discord, the Gemara wants to know why the woman isn’t believed. “The Gemara analyzes the ruling of the mishna itself. What is the reason that in the case of a quarrel between them the court does not accept her testimony? Rav Ḥanina said: Because she lies, i.e., due to their quarrel she is likely to testify falsely that her husband died. Rav Shimi bar Ashi said: Because she says what she imagines to be the case. When there is peace between them, she examines the matter thoroughly to discover whether he actually died, but if there is a quarrel between them she is not so exacting, as she is pleased to be rid of him.”