Starting on yesterday’s daf and continuing through today’s daf TB Ketubot 6 and continuing on tomorrow’s daf, the Gemara analyzes only one question. May the bride and groom engage in intercourse for the first time Friday night, meaning Shabbat? “A dilemma was raised before the Sages: What is the halakha with regard to engaging in intercourse with one’s virgin bride for the first time on Shabbat? The dilemma is with regard to the nature of the blood that emerges as a result of the piercing of the hymen. Is it that the blood is pooled, and it is released once the hymen is pierced, so that no prohibition is violated? Or, is the blood flowing through vessels attached to the body, and it emerges as a result of a wound, so that he does violate a prohibition?” (TB Ketubot 5b, Sefaria.org translation) You shouldn’t be surprised that the Gemara notes that not only the amorarim disagree whether the bride and groom may engage in intercourse for the first time on Shabbat, but the tannaim also are divided on the proper behavior.
The Gemara suggests that perhaps something
that we’ve learned in massekhet
Berakhot can settle the argument. “Rav Yosef
raised an objection
from a mishna (Berakhot 16a): A groom is exempt from the mitzva of
reciting Shema on the first night of his marriage to a virgin on
Wednesday night, until Saturday night, if he has not taken action and
consummated the marriage. What, is it not that he is exempt due to the
fact that he is preoccupied because he wishes to engage in intercourse
with her and is concerned that he will fail to do so properly? Apparently, if
he did not yet consummate the marriage, he is exempt from reciting Shema
even on Shabbat, indicating that it is permitted to engage in intercourse on
Shabbat.” (, Sefaria.org translation)
Of course, the argument isn’t
settled at all. “Rather, Rava said: This matter of
intercourse with a virgin on Shabbat is subject to a dispute between tanna’im,
as one tanna taught: If he did not take action on the first
night he is exempt from reciting Shema even on the second.
If he failed to consummate the marriage on the second night he is
exempt even on the third night, which is Shabbat evening.
“And another baraita is taught: On
the first and second nights he is exempt; on the third he is
obligated to recite Shema. He is obligated on the third night, even
if he did not yet consummate the marriage, because the third night is Shabbat,
when intercourse with his virgin wife is forbidden. The different rulings in
the two baraitot indicate that there is a tannaitic dispute with regard
to intercourse with a virgin on Shabbat.”
(Sefaria.org translation)
What
are the poor bride and groom supposed to do? Back in the good old days people
had the proper intention, kavanah-כַּוָּנָה,
when
they prayed, a groom who married a virgin is
exempt from the recitation of the Shema until he has sexual intercourse with
her because he is preoccupied with this mitzvah. He is worried perhaps he’ll
discover that she is not a virgin. Since this is a preoccupation of a mitzvah,
he is exempt from the observance of other mitzvot. However if they delayed
having intercourse for three days, the groom is obligated to recite the Shema
from that night on. He already has become accustomed to her company and he no
longer is anxious or preoccupied.
Today we don’t have such great kavanah when we pray. Consequently even when
a groom has his first intercourse with his virgin bride, he recites the Shema. (Rambam,
Mishneh Torah, Sefer Ahava, Hilkhot Kriat Shema, chapter 4, halakha 5, Shulkhan
Arukh, Orekh Hayim 70:3) Whether they are permitted to have sexual intercourse
on Friday night is still yet to be determined.
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