Marriage is a two-step process in Jewish law. First comes betrothal, kiddushin or erusin קידושין or ארוסין. A year later the couple stands underneath the marriage canopy for the ceremony of nesuin נשואין. Once the couple became betrothed all the laws concerning adultery became operational. If a woman had consensual sexual relations with another man during the period of betrothal, she was considered an adulterous. According to classical Jewish law when a woman commits adultery, she may not return to her husband. He must divorce her. She is not permitted to marry her paramour either. The rabbis wanted the husband to be able to go to the court to open up investigation immediately to ascertain whether his wife had committed adultery during the period of betrothal. They were afraid that if a longer time elapsed, the husband’s anger will cool and not be willing to ascertain the status of his wife. . Since the courts met on Thursdays, they chose Wednesday as the day that virgins were married.
TB Ketuvot 3 teaches that a couple
can choose any day they wish to get married under the right circumstances.
“§ Rav Shmuel bar Yitzḥak said:
The Sages teach that this halakha that a virgin is married on
Wednesday is in effect only from the institution of the ordinance of
Ezra that courts are in regular session only on Monday and Thursday. However,
prior to the institution of the ordinance of Ezra, when courts were
in regular session every day, a woman was married on any day of
the week.
“The Gemara asks: Prior to the
institution of the ordinance of Ezra? What was in the past was in
the past. There are no halakhic ramifications to that statement. The Gemara
answers: This is what Rav Shmuel bar Yitzḥak is saying: If there are
courts in regular daily session today, as they were prior
to the institution of the ordinance of Ezra, a woman is married on any
day of the week.”
(Sefaria.org translation)
The Rishonim have written that today a couple may marry any day they wish as long as this not contradicted by Jewish law. First of all, today Jewish courts are in session every day so there’s no reason to limit the day of a marriage to Wednesday. Secondly, we don’t have to worry about a husband bringing a claim that his wife is not a virgin and perhaps an adulterous woman because kiddushin and nesuin happen one right after the other underneath the marriage canopy. (Rambam, Mishneh Torah, Sefer Nashim, Hilkhot Eshut (אישות), chapter 10, halakha 14; Shulkan Arukh, Even Ha’ezer, 64:3)
As long as the Rabbi and caterer
are available, you may get married on most any day you wish.
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