On today’s daf TB Ketubot 5, Bar Kappara provides a
more positive reason why a virgin is married on Wednesday and a widow on
Thursday. “Come and hear proof, as bar Kappara taught: A
virgin is married on Wednesday and engages in intercourse on Thursday, since
the blessing to the fish: Be fruitful and multiply, was stated on
the fifth day of Creation. A widow is married on Thursday and engages in
intercourse on Friday, since the blessing of procreation was stated to
man on the sixth day of Creation.”
(Sefaria.org translation) Not only is procreation a mitzvah, children are a
blessing. The marriage should be blessed with children who are a blessing to
their parents.
The Gemara continues to
bring further teachings of Bar Kappara unrelated to our topic. “Bar Kappara taught: What
is the
meaning of that which is written: And you shall have a peg among your
weapons [azenekha]” (Deuteronomy 23:14)? Do not read it as: Your
weapons [azenekha]. Rather, read it: On your ear [oznekha],
meaning that if a person hears an inappropriate matter, he should
place his finger, which is shaped like a peg, into his ears. And that is
what Rabbi Elazar said: Why are the fingers of a person similar to pegs?
The Gemara asks: What is the reason that Rabbi Elazar said that fingers
are like pegs? If we say that it is due to the fact that they
are discrete from each other, each and every finger was
designated for its own discrete, sacred matter, as the Master said: This
small finger is for measuring a span, the distance between the little
finger to the tip of the thumb used in measuring the breastplate of the High
Priest; this next finger is used for taking a fistful of the
meal-offering; this middle finger is used for measuring a cubit, the
distance from the elbow to the tip of the middle finger; this one next
to the thumb is the finger used to sprinkle the blood of offerings on
the altar; this is the thumb, on which the blood and oil is
placed in the purification ritual of a leper.
“Rather, the question is: What is the reason
that they are pointed like pegs? It is so that if a person hears an
inappropriate matter, he will place his fingers in his ears. Similarly, a
Sage of the school of Rabbi Yishmael taught: Why is the entire ear hard and
the earlobe soft? It is so that if a person hears an inappropriate
matter, he will bend his earlobe into his ear to seal it. The Sages
taught: A person should not allow his ears to hear idle matters. Because of
the fact that ears are very sensitive and are the first of the
limbs burned, one should make certain not to expose them to anything
problematic.”
(Sefaria.org translation)
Even though we’ve seen people (at least actors in the movies) put their fingers in their ears and make loud noises to prevent from hearing something[1], I don’t believe the rabbis were instructing us literally to put our fingers or earlobes in our ears when we might hear gossip or anything else inappropriate. Nevertheless, we should distance ourselves like the Chofetz Hayim from the sin of lashon har’a- לשון הרע, gossip, and rikhilut- רכילות, slander.
“The Chofetz Hayim was once
traveling in a wagon with horse dealers. His traveling companions were
discussing topics relating to horses and cattle. In the middle of the
conversation, one of the travelers began to speak against another dealer.
“The Chofetz Hayim reprimanded them
for speaking and listening to loshon hara,
and asked them to continue discussing animals rather than people. When the
Chofetz Hayim saw that the dealers refused to heed him, he asked the wagon
driver to stop, and got off in the middle-of-the-road. (Rabbi Shmuel Pliskin in
Der Chofetz Hayim, pp. 93-94
as quoted in Zelig Pliskins’ book Love your Neighbor, page 191)
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