Today's daf TB Ketubot 8 is a fascinating page. It contains the correct wording of six of the seven wedding blessings, sheva berakhot. There is no need to list the seventh blessing because it is the blessing over a cup of wine. The Gemara points out the similarities between a wedding celebration and mourning. There are seven days of wedding feasts in which the sheva berakhot are recited and there are seven days of deep mourning, shiva. Although no longer said today, the Gemara records four blessings recited in the house the morning. A minyan is required in which case and the groom (and today the bride) and the mourner accounted among the 10 people. New people are needed in the minyan to recite these blessings. There are wedding and mourning customs for the first 30 days and one year as well.
If you think drinking four cups of wine at the Passover Seder is a lot, you'll be surprised to learn that different rabbis thought a mourner should drink either ten cups of wine or 14 cups of wine!
“In connection with comforting mourners, Ulla said, and some say that it was taught in a baraita: The Sages instituted ten cups of wine to be drunk in the house of the mourner: Three cups prior to the meal, in order to open his intestines, i.e., whet his appetite; three during the meal, to soak the food in his intestines in order to facilitate digestion; and four cups after the meal, each corresponding to a blessing in the Grace after Meals. One corresponds to the first blessing: Who feeds all; one corresponds to the second blessing, the blessing of the land; one corresponding to the third blessing: Who builds Jerusalem; and one corresponding to the fourth blessing: Who is good and does good.
"Later, the Sages added to those four additional blessings: One, noting the actions of the attendants of the city [ḥazzanei ha’ir], who tend to burials and other communal needs; one, noting the actions of the leaders of the city, who would provide funding for the burial of the poor; one, noting the Temple, commemorating its destruction; and one, noting the actions of Rabban Gamliel. The people began observing this ordinance instituted by the Sages, and they would drink and become intoxicated. Therefore, the Sages restored the matter to its previous status and established that they drink no more than ten cups.” (Sefaria.org translation)
Many people mistakenly believe that a mourner is forbidden to drink wine because we don't drink wine during the nine days of Av leading to the fast of Tisha B'Av, commemorating the destruction of the First and Second Temples in Jerusalem. During these nine days entire Jewish people are mourning the destruction of the Temple and the exile the Jewish people from Israel. Today's daf disabuses this incorrect belief. The Tur explains the difference between a house of mourning and the nine days.
“Know that it is a mitzvah to pour drinks of wine (for the mourner) for it is said that wine wasn't created except to comfort the mourner. It is a mitzvah to comfort the mourner and help him forget his sorrow. But in the case of the nine days it is forbidden to drink wine For if a person drinks wine he will forget the purpose of the nine days. It is a mitzvah to remember the destruction of the Temple and be distressed over this calamity. (My translation) תדע שהרי אבל אחר מצוה להשקותו יין דאמרינן לא נברא יין אלא לנחם בו אבלים שמצוה לנחמו לשכח צערו והכא אסרו יין כי אם ישתה ישכח רישו ומצוה שיזכור חורבן הבית ויצטער עליו (Tur, Orekh Hayim 552)
The Gemara explains why 1 cup wine was added in honor of Rabban Gamliel. Although Rabban Gamliel was wealthy could afford a lavish funeral, he was sensitive to the feelings of the poor. He set the precedent teaching that all of us are equal in death.
“What is the connection between Rabban Gamliel and a house of mourning? It is as it is taught in a baraita: Initially, the funeral expenditures for the deceased were more taxing for his relatives than his death, as the burials were opulent, until it reached a point where people would abandon the deceased and flee. This continued until Rabbi Gamliel came and conducted himself in a self-deprecatory manner, instructing the people that they were to take him for burial in plain linen garments. And all the people conducted themselves following his example, and instructed their families to take them for burial in plain linen garments. Rav Pappa said: And today, everyone is accustomed to bury the dead in plain garments, even in rough cloth [tzerada] worth one zuz.” (Sefaria.org translation)
This is the correct custom to this very day. People should be buried in simple shrouds instead of the finest suits or dresses.
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