Today's daf TB Moed Katan 27 reminds us to be sensitive to other people's feelings. We should do everything humanly possible not to embarrass other people. The sages decreed seven takanot, enactments, to spare the feelings of the poor, the sick, or those who have bodily discharges. This Gemara reminds us if our sages were careful not to embarrass anybody, how much more so should we.
“The Sages taught the following baraita: At first, the meal after the burial would be brought to the house of the mourner in various ways. The wealthy would bring the meal in baskets of silver and gold, and the poor would bring it in baskets of peeled willow branches. And the poor were embarrassed, as everyone would see that they were poor. The Sages instituted that everyone should bring the meal in baskets of peeled willow branches, due to the honor of the poor.
“The Sages taught a similar baraita: At first, they would serve wine in the house of the mourner during the first meal after the burial; the wealthy would do so in cups made from white glass, and the poor would serve this wine in cups of colored glass. And the poor were embarrassed, as everyone would see that they were poor. The Sages instituted that all should serve drinks in the house of the mourner in colored glass cups, due to the honor of the poor.
“Furthermore, at first they would uncover the faces of the wealthy who passed away and cover the faces of the poor, because their faces were blackened by famine. And the poor were embarrassed because they were buried in a different manner. The Sages instituted that everyone’s face should be covered, due to the honor of the poor.
“Additionally, at first the wealthy would take the deceased out for burial on a dargash1, and the poor would take the decease on a plain bier made from poles that were strapped together, and the poor were embarrassed. The Sages instituted that everyone should be taken out for burial on a plain bier, due to the honor of the poor.
“Similarly, at first they would place incense under the beds of those who died with an intestinal disease, because the body emitted an especially unpleasant odor. And those who were alive with an intestinal disease were embarrassed when they understood that they, too, would be treated in this manner after their death, and that everyone would know the cause of their death. The Sages instituted that incense should be placed under everyone, due to the honor of those with an intestinal disease who were still living.
“Moreover, at first they would ritually immerse all the utensils that had been used by women who died while menstruating, which had thereby contracted ritual impurity. And due to this, the living menstruating women were embarrassed. The Sages instituted that the utensils that had been used by all dying women must be immersed, due to the honor of living menstruating women. And, at first they would ritually immerse all the utensils that had been used by zavin, men suffering from gonorrhea, who died, as the utensils had thereby contracted ritual impurity. And due to this the living zavin felt embarrassed. The Sages instituted that the utensils that had been used by all men must be immersed, due to the honor of the living zavin.
“Likewise, at first taking the dead out for burial was more difficult for the relatives than the actual death, because it was customary to bury the dead in expensive shrouds, which the poor could not afford. The problem grew to the point that relatives would sometimes abandon the corpse and run away. This lasted until Rabban Gamliel came and acted with frivolity, meaning that he waived his dignity, by leaving instructions that he be taken out for burial in linen garments. And the people adopted this practice after him and had themselves taken out for burial in linen garments. Rav Pappa said: And nowadays, everyone follows the practice of taking out the dead for burial even in plain hemp garments [tzerada] that cost only a dinar.” (Sefaria.org translation)
Anybody who has buried a loved one, knows how expensive funerals are today. Unscrupulous funeral directors will try to influence the survivors by manipulating their feelings of guilt to purchase the most expensive casket, the most expensive shrouds, and etc, because funeral directors will increase their profits. Both a $10,000 lined mahogany casket and a plain pine box are buried nevermore to see the light of day. The deceased no longer can tell the difference.
Thanks to Rabban Gamliel,we now have the principle that the simpler is more dignified when it comes to funerals. I always highly recommend that people preplan their funerals for two reasons. First of all, you are guaranteed to have the type of a funeral of your choice. Secondly, since the day of death is 120 years in the future, a person's emotions will not cloud his judgment. He won't be easily manipulated to purchase a lavish and unnecessary expensive funeral
1Defined on TB Moed Katan 27a as either a good luck bed, a bed used like a closet i.e. people laid clothes upon it, or a leather bed.
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