’aninut, the period before burial TB Moed Katan 23

We already know that Shabbat counts as one of the seven days of shiv’ah, but does not interrupt the period of mourning which continues after Shabbat. We also know that there are no public acts a mourning on Shabbat. For example, one does not wear either the torn piece of clothing or the keri’ah ribbon on Shabbat. In the course of the debate whether or not all private practices mourning on Shabbat are observed, we learn about another stage of mourning. ’aninut (אָנִינוּת) is the period of time between death and burial and the bereaved person is called an ’onan (אוֹנֵן). Today’s daf TB Moed Katan 23 delineates the exceptions that apply to the ’onan.

Remember when these rules were formulated, there is no such thing as a professional funeral home. Consequently, the family took care of the deceased and his needs inside their own home.

“One whose deceased relative is laid out before him eats in another room. If he does not have another room, he eats in the house of a friend. If he does not have a friend’s house available, he makes a partition ten handbreadths high between him and the deceased, so that he may eat. If he does not have material with which to make a partition, he averts his face from the dead and eats.

“And in any case, he does not recline while he eats, as reclining is characteristic of a festive meal; and he neither eats meat nor drinks wine; and he does not recite a blessing before eating to exempt others from their obligation; and he does not recite the formula to invite the participants in the meal to join together in the Grace after Meals, and they do not recite a blessing over him nor do others invite him to join in the Grace after Meals, as he cannot be a member of the three required to recite the formula. And he is exempt from the recitation of Shema, and from the Amida prayer, and from donning phylacteries, and from performing all of the mitzvot mentioned in the Torah.

“But on Shabbat he reclines at the meal, as per his custom, and eats; and he eats meat and drinks wine; and he recites blessings to exempt others from their obligation; and he recites the formula to invite the participants in the meal to join together in the Grace after Meals, and others may recite blessings on his behalf and invite him to join in the Grace after Meals. And he is also obligated in the recitation of Shema, and in the Amida prayer, and in the mitzva of phylacteries, and in all the mitzvot mentioned in the Torah. Rabban Gamliel says: Since he is obligated to fulfill these mitzvot associated with Shabbat, he is obligated to fulfill all of the mitzvot on Shabbat.

“Rabban Gamliel’s statement is vague. The following clarifies it: Rabbi Yoḥanan said: The practical difference between them, the opinion of the anonymous first tanna and Rabbi Yoḥanan’s opinion, is with regard to sexual relations. According to Rabban Gamliel, the acute mourner is obligated in the mitzva to engage in marital intercourse with his wife on Shabbat, just as he is obligated in all the other mitzvot.” (Sefaria.org translation)

Rabbi Isaac Klein explains in his book a guide to Jewish religious practice:

“The reason for these prescriptions is twofold. First, there is the principle of הָעוֹסֵק בְּמִצְוָה פָּטוּר מִן הַמִּצְוָה (B. Suk. 26a; B Sotah 44b): since the bereaved is obligated to attend the needs of the deceased, there should be nothing to distract him from these obligations. (I usually explain that the rabbis did not believe in multitasking. The bereaved needed to focus all his attention to prepare the deceased for burial-gg) Second, it is considered a breach of Kevod Hamet (the honor of the deceased-gg) to do anything but attend to the deceased. Hence, a mourner is not permitted to perform his religious obligations even if he wants to (Ashrei on Ber. 17b; for other views, see Rashi ad loc., and Maimonides, Hil Aveil 4:6; see also Hagahot Maimuniyot, n. 4)

“Today when organized groups or commercial firms take care of burial needs, and the participation of the family is minimal, such exemptions are not necessary. Rather, the solace and comfort derived from prayer and the performance of religious duties would suggest that we should encourage such activities “Semakhot 10:1; Y.D. 341:1, 3; Qitsur Shulkan Arukh 196:5). The laws of aninut, as well as all the laws a morning, applied to the seven close relatives: spouse father and mother, son and daughter, brother and sister have one father (Y.D 374:4).” (Page 274)

My father z”l passed away two days before Yom Kippur and wasn’t going to be buried until the day after Yom Kippur. Obviously as a pulpit Rabbi, I had a conflict. On the one hand I was an ’onan and freed from the observance of all positive time bound commandments. On the other hand, it was Yom Kippur. I asked my teacher Rabbi Meyer Rabinowitz what I should do. He advised me that I should attend services and do whatever I felt comfortable doing. If I felt like praying, I should pray. If I didn’t, I didn’t have to. That’s what I did. I remained on the bimah, davened I wanted to, and gave my prepared sermon.

Spoiler alert: Rabbi Klein also writes: “(the ’onan) is obligated to fulfill all the myths vote except to sexual obligations to his spouse (Y.D. 341:1). (Page 274)