Be careful of other people’s feelings TB Haggigah 5

 Today’s daf TB Haggigah 5 teaches us that how you observe a mitzvah is just as important as observing the mitzvah itself. Especially concerning the mitzvah of giving tzedakkah, we must keep in mind two important concepts. The first is kavod- כָּבוֹדwhich means honor, dignity, respect. We have already seen previously in the Talmud that the kavod due to God’s creatures is extremely great- גדול כבוד הבריות. (Berakhot 19a, Shabbat 81b) The second concept is bushah- בּוּשָׁהwhich means shame, humiliation, and embarrassment. Bushah is the polar opposite of kavod. We are expected to avoid causing a sense of bushah in another person. Unfortunately Rabbi Yannai wasn’t careful how he fulfilled the mitzvah of tzedakkah.

“Additionally, when Rabbi Yoḥanan reached this verse, he cried: “For God shall bring every work into the judgment concerning every hidden thing whether it be good, or whether it be evil” (Ecclesiastes 12:14). He said: With regard to a slave whose master weighs his unwitting sins like intentional ones, i.e., God punishes him even for an action that was hidden from him, is there a remedy for him?...

“The Gemara asks: What is the meaning of the end of that verse: “Whether it be good, or whether it be evil” (Ecclesiastes 12:14)? This verse indicates that God judges man harshly even for the good deeds he performs. The Sages from the school of Rabbi Yannai say: This verse is referring to one who gives charity to a poor person in public. Although he performed a good deed, he embarrassed the pauper, as in this case of Rabbi Yannai, who saw a certain man who was giving a dinar to a poor person in public. He said to him: It would have been better had you not given it to him than what you did, as now you gave it to him and embarrassed him.” (Sefaria.org translation) “Apparently the contributor had given too openly, and the financial benefit for the poor man was not worth the humiliation he suffered as a result of the public nature of the act.” (A study Guide to Tzedakkah, Gym Shoes and Irises by Danny Siegel, page 122)

Today’s daf reminds us we should always be careful about the feelings of the other person even if most people don’t believe they’ve done anything wrong. Going back to the verse in Ecclesiastes the Gemara gives examples of things that are hidden, meaning people don’t realize they are doing something wrong. “What sin is the verse referring to when it states: “Concerning every hidden thing”? Rav said: This is referring to one who kills a louse in the presence of another and his friend is disgusted by it. God judges him for the unintentional discomfort he caused. And similarly, Shmuel said: This is referring to one who spits in the presence of another and his friend is disgusted by his action.” (Sefaria.org translation)