Today’s daf is dedicated in honor of my children’s, Hillel and Lily,
anniversary.
I’ve been making
phone calls to all my members to all my members to find out how are they faring
during this period of self-isolation. Many of my members live in small apartments
with not a lot of space to be alone. Families with children whether in a small
apartment or house can easily get on each other’s nerves. Tensions can rise.
The Gemara relates a time when tensions rose to a fever pitch between Hillel
and Shammai in the study hall.
“And another of those (18) decrees is the matter of one
who harvests grapes in order to take them to the press. Shammai says: It
has become susceptible, and Hillel says: It has not become susceptible. Hillel
said to Shammai: If so, for what purpose do they harvest
grapes in purity, i.e., utilizing pure vessels, as in your opinion,
since the grapes are susceptible to impurity by means of the juice that seeps
from them, care must be taken to avoid impurity while gathering; and,
however, they do not harvest olives in purity? According to your
opinion that liquid that seeps out renders the fruit susceptible to impurity,
why is there not a similar concern with regard to the liquid that seeps out of
olives?
“Shammai said to him: If you provoke me and insist
that there is no difference between gathering olives and grapes, then, in order
not to contradict this, I will decree impurity on the gathering of
olives as well. They related that since the dispute was so intense, they
stuck a sword in the study hall, and they said: One who seeks to enter
the study hall, let him enter, and one who seeks to leave may not
leave, so that all of the Sages will be assembled to determine the halakha.
That day Hillel was bowed and was sitting before Shammai like one of the
students. The Gemara said: And that day was as difficult for
Israel as the day the Golden Calf was made, as Hillel, who was the Nasi,
was forced to sit in submission before Shammai, and the opinion of Beit Shammai
prevailed in the vote conducted that day.” (Sefaria.com)
We all know how bad things were when the day the golden calf
was made. The children of Israel worship an idol instead of Hashem, God. Moses
broke the two tablets he was carrying down from Mount Sinai when he saw the
Israelites dancing around the calf. The Levites slew there fellow Israelite who
had given themselves over to idolatry. Moses ground the calf to powder, strewed
it upon the water, and made the Israelites drink it. (Exodus 32) That indeed
was a terrible bad day. Now can you imagine the tension and anger in that study
hall when Hillel and Shammai disagreed? It was so thick you probably could have
cut it with a knife. Eventually though things calmed down for we know from our
previous study that the day after these 18 cases were discussed, a consensus
was formed between Bet Hillel and Bet Shammai.
Perhaps you saw online or read in today’s Washington Post
the viral rant of one Israeli mother stuck in the house with four children.
Here’s a video link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=13&v=8U6zU4MXmnA&feature=emb_logo
(it has subtitles ) and here is the link to the article where you can read her
rant https://www.washingtonpost.com/education/2020/03/22/if-we-dont-die-corona-well-die-distance-learning-israeli-mom-with-four-kids-home-loses-it-heres-her-rant/.
Frustrated she says, “It’s only the second day. If we don’t die of corona,
we’ll die of distance learning.” I recommend you watch her rant and see how her
tone changes at the very end.
How many of us feel that way already? And we have weeks if
not months ahead of us in a confinement. The best advice I can give you when
arguing is escalating is to stop and take a deep breath. Take a timeout. When
both of you are calmer and able to discuss whatever is bothering you rationally,
that’s the time to discuss the issue. Don’t let it escalate to be a day that
was as difficult for Israel as the day the golden calf was made.
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