No immediate gratification TB Yevamot 48

Even before the Geneva conventions accords, the Torah mandates that there are rules how war is waged. Daf TB Yevamot 48 teaches the appropriate conduct concerning a female prisoner of war. The Torah proscribes how an Israelite soldier should treat a female prisoner of war to whom he is attracted. “When you [an Israelite warrior] take the field against your enemies, and your God delivers them into your power and you take some of them captive, and you see among the captives a beautiful woman and you desire her and would take her [into your household] as your wife, you shall bring her into your household, and she shall trim her hair, pare her nails, and discard her captive’s garb. She shall spend a month’s time in your household lamenting her father and mother; after that you may come to her and thus become her husband, and she shall be your wife. Then, should you no longer want her, you must release her outright. You must not sell her for money: since you had your will of her, you must not enslave her.” (Deuteronomy 21:10-15)

“The Sages taught: The verse states: “And she shall shave her head and do her nails” (Deuteronomy 21:12). The phrase “do her nails” is ambiguous. Rabbi Eliezer says: It means she cuts her nails. Rabbi Akiva says: It means she grows them.

“Each tanna explains the basis of his opinion: Rabbi Eliezer said: An act of doing is stated with regard to the head, that she should shave it, and an act of doing is stated with regard to the nails; just as there, with regard to the hair on her head, the Torah requires its removal, so too, here, with regard to her nails, the Torah requires their removal. Rabbi Akiva says: An act of doing is stated with regard to the head, that she should shave it, and an act of doing is stated with regard to the nails; just as there, with regard to the hair on her head, the Torah requires that she do something that makes her repulsive, so too, here, with regard to her nails, the Torah requires she do something that makes her repulsive, i.e., allowing them to grow.” (Sefaria.org translation)

“Most women captives in the ancient world became slaves (see 20:14 and judges 5:30), but in some cases a soldier found one whom he desired to take as a wife or concubine, a practice well-known from the Homeric Greece and early Arabia. This law requires a soldier who wishes to marry a captive woman to show consideration for her feelings. He must allow her to adjust to all that has happened by bring her back to his home and waiting a month before marrying her. In case he later becomes dissatisfied with her, he may not reduce her to slavery. A significant aspect of this law is its respect for the personhood of the captive woman in the moral obligations created by initiating a sexual relationship with her…

 “By Talmudic times a formal procedure of religious conversion have been created and the halakha permitted such marriages only if the woman agreed to convert to Judaism. Even so, the rabbis took a dim view of marriage with captives. They regarded such unions as motivated by lust and considered the present law a concession to the likelihood that they would take place whether permitted or not. In their view, versus 12-13 are designed to delay and, ideally, discourage such a marriage by making the women unattractive.” (Jeffrey Tigay, NJPS translation and commentary, page 194)

How long does the Israelite have to wait before he can marry this female prisoner war is another rabbinic disagreement. They all agree that there’s no immediate gratification.

“The verses states: “A month of days and after that you may come to her” (Deuteronomy 21:13). This means a thirty-day month. Rabbi Shimon ben Elazar says: She must wait ninety days. This is derived as follows: The phrase “a month” connotes thirty days; the word “days” adds another thirty days; and the words “after that” indicate another period equal to one previously mentioned, i.e., a further thirty days.

Ravina strongly objects to this: If the words “after that” indicate another period equal to one previously mentioned, then one should say: The phrase “a month” connotes thirty days; the word “days” adds another thirty days; and then the words “after that” add another period which is equal to the total sum of all those days she has already waited, i.e., an additional sixty days. The Gemara concedes: Indeed, this is difficult.”