Wednesday, November 30, 2022

It's forbidden to despair #Vayetze#devartorah#parashathashavua

Perhaps you’ve seen the video of the little boy who learns he’s getting another sister. In the middle of his meltdown he laments, “It’s always girls, girls, girls, girls!”

The story gives an amusing glimpse into human expectations, but there’s nothing funny about disappointment. It saturates our world. One story from the Bible seems especially steeped in disappointment. Jacob agreed to work 7 years for the right to marry his uncle’s daughter Rachel. But after fulfilling his contract, Jacob got a wedding night surprise. In the morning he discovered not Rachel but her sister Leah in his bed.

We usually focus on Jacob’s disappointment, but imagine how Leah must have felt! What hopes and dreams of hers began to die that day as she was forced to marry a man who did not love or want her? 

The names of her first three sons tell of her despair. Revuan’s, the first born, name means “The Lord has seen my affliction.” She hopes “Now my husband will love me.” Shimon’s name means “This is because the Lord heard that I was unloved and has given me this one also” Her third son’s name describes her continuing sorrow. “This time my husband will become attached to me, for I have borne him three sons. Therefore she named him Levi.” (Genesis 29:31-34)

Leah’s story teaches us hope that we can overcome our disappointments and despair. At the end of her life, Jacob honored only Leah by burying her in the family grave plot with Abraham and Sarah, Isaac and Rebekah (Gen. 49:31).  Just like in Fiddler on the Roof, when Tevye asks Golde “Do you love me” he ultimately gets a positive answer, so too Jacob tells her in his own way “I suppose I love you too.”

We would do well to remember what Rebbe Nachmen taught his Hasidim. He said “Lo tit’ya-esh – Assur l’hit’ya-esh – It is forbidden to despair.” He also said, “Remember: Things can go from the very worst to the very best…in just the blink of an eye.”

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