Perhaps you’ve seen the video of the little boy who learns he’s getting another sister. In the middle of his meltdown he laments, “It’s always girls, girls, girls, girls!”
The story gives an amusing
glimpse into human expectations, but there’s nothing funny about
disappointment. It saturates our world. One story from the Bible seems
especially steeped in disappointment. Jacob agreed to work 7 years for the
right to marry his uncle’s daughter Rachel. But after fulfilling his contract,
Jacob got a wedding night surprise. In the morning he discovered not Rachel but
her sister Leah in his bed.
We usually focus on Jacob’s
disappointment, but imagine how Leah must have felt! What hopes and dreams of
hers began to die that day as she was forced to marry a man who did not love or
want her?
The names of her first three
sons tell of her despair. Revuan’s, the first born, name means “The Lord has
seen my affliction.” She hopes “Now my husband will love me.” Shimon’s name
means “This is because the Lord heard that I was unloved and has given me this
one also” Her third son’s name describes her continuing sorrow. “This time my
husband will become attached to me, for I have borne him three sons. Therefore
she named him Levi.” (Genesis 29:31-34)
Leah’s story teaches us hope
that we can overcome our disappointments and despair. At the end of her life,
Jacob honored only Leah by burying her in the family grave plot with Abraham
and Sarah, Isaac and Rebekah (Gen. 49:31).
Just like in Fiddler on the Roof, when Tevye asks Golde “Do you love me”
he ultimately gets a positive answer, so too Jacob tells her in his own way “I
suppose I love you too.”
We would do
well to remember what Rebbe Nachmen taught his Hasidim. He said “Lo
tit’ya-esh – Assur l’hit’ya-esh – It is forbidden to despair.” He also
said, “Remember: Things can go from the very worst to the very best…in just the
blink of an eye.”
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