In this week’s Torah portion, Korach, Korach tries to usurp Moses’ position of leadership. He openly quarrels with Moshe to wrest away his mantle of leadership. This quarrel is rather unique in the history of human kind. In this case Moses was 100% right and Korach was 100% wrong. But in most feuds and arguments even if one side is more correct than the other, both sides are usually making mistakes.
Husbands and wives, parents and children, and siblings often fight over most anything. After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, “You know I was a fool when I married you.” She replied, “Yes dear, I know but I was in love and didn’t notice it.” When two people argue, each person states his position and then blames the other for the problem. Nobody really listens. He or she is too busy buttressing his/her case. A stalemate occurs, anger festers, and the couple drifts apart.
After hearing the other side, each person in the argument should ask himself or herself “What can I live with.” Compromise is the key to any solution on any problem When involved in a quarrel, don’t focus on who is more right and who is more wrong. Focus on making peace by asking yourself “What can I live with so that all the people involved can be satisfied with the outcome.”
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