Bar Kappara gives good advice TB Yevamot 109

 Bar Kappara gives good advice on today’s daf TB Yevamot 109. “Bar Kappara taught: A person should always cling to three things:

1.     To ḥalitza; this is in accordance with the opinion of Abba Shaul, as it is taught in a baraita: Abba Shaul said: One who marries his yevama for her beauty, or for the sake of matrimony because he wants to be married to her, or for some other reason, such as her money, it is as if he is having intercourse with a woman forbidden to him, and in my eyes it is almost as if his offspring were a mamzer. Therefore, it is preferable that one performs ḥalitza and avoids sin. 2.

2.     One should cling to bringing about peace, as it is written “Seek peace and pursue it” (Psalms 34:15). And Rabbi Abbahu said: It is derived by verbal analogy from the terms pursuit and pursuit. It is written here: “Seek peace and pursue it” (Psalms 34:15) and it is written there: “He who pursues righteousness and mercy finds life, prosperity, and honor” (Proverbs 21:21), indicating that pursuing peace is a mitzva, just as pursuing righteousness and mercy is.

3.     As for the nullification of vows, this is in accordance with the opinion of Rabbi Natan, as it is taught in a baraita: Rabbi Natan says: With regard to one who vows, it is as if he built a personal altar when it is prohibited to build an altar outside the Temple. And one who fulfills that vow, it is as if he sacrificed an offering on this personal altar, thereby doubling his sin. Therefore, it is preferable that he ask a halakhic authority to dissolve the vow.” (Sefaria.org translation)

A brother’s widow relationship with the surviving brother is a forbidden relationship under all circumstances except when the husband dies childless. The purpose of yibum is to continue the deceased brother’s line and legacy. Abba Shaul disapproves when the surviving brother marries the yevama for any other reason. Based on this teaching when the need arises, Ashkenazic Jews will only perform the ceremony of ḥalitza. On the other hand, Sephardic Jews are more open to the possibility of yibum.

Rabbi Natan’s position that “one who vows, it is as if he build a personal altar, and one who fulfills that vow, it is if he sacrificed an offering on this personal altar” needs explanation. The Rishonim explained that the basis of this comparison is when a person forbids something upon himself which the Torah permits it is as if he has offered up an unnecessary sacrifice.

Bar Kappara continues. “And one should distance himself from three things: From refusals, as perhaps she will grow up and regret her decision, and it will turn out that she refused a husband who was suitable for her. From deposits entrusted to him by an inhabitant of the same city, as he will treat the bailee’s home as his home. The owner might enter the bailee’s house and take the deposit without the latter’s knowledge, and subsequently falsely sue him for its return. From serving as a guarantor: This is referring to Sheltziyyon guarantees, in which the lender is entitled to demand payment from the guarantor even before the borrower defaults on the loan.” (Sefria.org translation)

What is the common denominator of these three things that a person should distance himself from? Me’oon, accepting deposits, and acting as a guarantor may look good at that moment, but the result of these actions may turn out bad for the person in the long run. I think the Bar Kappara’s advice here is one should always think through the possible consequences of his/her actions before acting. And that is always good advice.