I have finally fulfilled the mitzvah of being fruitful and multiply TB Yevamot 62

 Since the Gemara has been talking about who is who isn’t eligible to marry a kohen and what is the status of their child born to them, dappim TB Yevamot 61b and 62 discuss the general mitzvah of being fruitful and multiply (פְּרִיָּה וּרְבִיָּה).  “MISHNA: A man may not neglect the mitzva to be fruitful and multiply unless he already has children. Beit Shammai say: One fulfills this mitzva with two males, and Beit Hillel say: A male and a female, as it is stated: “Male and female He created them” (Genesis 5:2).” (Sefaria.org translation)

Beit Shammai bases his opinion on the fact that Moses had two sons, Gershom and Eliezer and certainly Moses would not have stopped having children if he hadn’t already fulfilled the mitzvah of being fruitful and multiply. Beit Hillel bases his opinion on the creation of the first two human beings, Adam and Eve. By procreating we are re-creating creation.

The Gemara shares two different iterations of the disagreement between Beit Shammai and Beit Hillel. “It is taught in a baraita that Rabbi Natan says that Beit Shammai say: The mitzva to be fruitful and multiply is fulfilled with two males and two females. And Beit Hillel say: A male and a female.

“Rav Huna said: What is the reason of Rabbi Natan, in accordance with the opinion of Beit Shammai? It is as it is written: “And again she bore his brother [et aḥiv] Abel [et Hevel]” (Genesis 4:2). The use of the superfluous word “et” indicates that she gave birth to Abel and his sister, in addition to Cain and his sister. And it states: “For God has appointed me another seed instead of Abel; for Cain slew him” (Genesis 4:25). This indicates that one must have at least four children. And the Rabbis, how do they understand this verse? In their opinion, Eve was thanking God for granting her another child, but one is not obligated to have four children.

“It is taught in another baraita that Rabbi Natan says that Beit Shammai say: The mitzva to be fruitful and multiply is fulfilled with a male and a female. And Beit Hillel say: Either a male or a female. Rava said: What is the reason of Rabbi Natan in accordance with the opinion of Beit Hillel? It is as it is stated: “He did not create it a waste; He formed it to be inhabited” (Isaiah 45:18), and one has made the earth inhabited to a greater degree by adding even one child to the world.” (Sefaria.org translation)

The halakha follows Beit Hillel. To fulfill the mitzvah of being fruitful and multiply one needs to have a son and a daughter. I have four sons. What happens if you are like me and have either all sons or all daughters? Does that mean that I have not fulfill this mitzvah yet and must continue to try to have a daughter? Well, there is at least one point of view that my grandchildren can count on my behalf and thus help me fulfill this mitzvah of being fruitful and multiply. “Grandchildren are considered like children. This indicates that if one’s children have passed away, he has fulfilled the mitzva to be fruitful and multiply only if they had children of their own, as they are considered like his own children. The Gemara responds: When that baraita is taught it is with regard to completing the required number of children, e.g., if he had only a son, but his son had a daughter, he has fulfilled the mitzva to be fruitful and multiply.” (Sefaria.org translation) I don’t think I have to wait for one of my sons to pass away for me to count one of my four granddaughters as my own.

Should we stop at having two children? Rabbi Yehoshua believes one should continue to have children as long as he or she can. “§ The Gemara comments: The mishna is not in accordance with the opinion of Rabbi Yehoshua. As it is taught in a baraita that Rabbi Yehoshua says: If a man married a woman in his youth, and she passed away, he should marry another woman in his old age. If he had children in his youth, he should have more children in his old age, as it is stated: “In the morning sow your seed, and in the evening do not withhold your hand; for you do not know which shall prosper, whether this or that, or whether they both alike shall be good” (Ecclesiastes 11:6). This verse indicates that a man should continue having children even after he has fulfilled the mitzva to be fruitful and multiply.” (Sefaria.org translation)

I think we should encourage young Jewish couples to have more than just two children for the sake of the Jewish people. Herb Keinon writes:

“83 years since the beginning of World War II and the Holocaust, the Jewish people have still not replenished themselves. According to the CBS figures, based on numbers from the Hebrew University of Jerusalem’s Avraham Harman Institute of Contemporary Jewry, the world Jewish population at the end of 2020 stood at 15.2 million. The definition of a Jew used in all countries, except for Israel, is anyone ‘who defines themselves as Jewish, or people who were born to Jewish parents who do not have a religious or ethnic self-definition.’

“By contrast, the world Jewish population in 1939 stood at 16.6 million. Because of Hitler and Nazi Germany, there is still 1.4 million fewer Jews today than they were in 1939, a decrease of 9.2% the world population, by contrast, has gone from 2.3 billion to 7.9 billion the same period, an increase of nearly 250%.

“83 years later in the world’s Jewish population has still not reached the level of what it was before the Holocaust. Encapsulated in that figure is the sheer enormity of the loss.” (The International Jerusalem Post, Number 3179, April 29-May 5, 2022, page 5)

I appreciate how expensive it is to raise Jewish children today. Jewish education tuition, Jewish camps’ fees, trips to Israel place an enormous economic burden Jewish parents. And I haven’t even added the cost of belonging to the Jewish community, synagogues, JCCs, Federations let alone the cost of keeping a kosher home and observing all the Jewish holidays. If the Jewish community advocates that we should have more children, the Jewish community should help support these parents and make all these costs more affordable by underwriting some of it.