Wednesday, May 4, 2022

How to correct someone #devartorah#parashatkedoshim#parashat hashavua

Contrary to common belief, the ostrich does not bury its head in the sand to ignore danger. An ostrich can run at a speed of 45 miles per hour, kick powerfully, and peck aggressively with its beak. As the largest and fastest bird in the world, it doesn't need to bury its head.

"Burying your head in the sand" is a saying that describes someone who wants to ignore his shortcomings or those of others. The prophet Nathan did not allow King David to forget his sins of adultery and murder (2 Samuel 12:1-14). It took a brave man to confront a king about his errors. Yet Nathan was obedient to God and wise in his approach.

In this week’s Torah portion we are instructed that one way to love our neighbor is to “reprove your kinsman but incur no guilt because of him.” (Lev. 19:17) “The Sages forbid carrying reproach to the point of embarrassing someone, thus incurring guilt because of that exchange, something that is forbidden by the Torah (Sifra) The obligation to reprove is limited to cases in which one has reason to believe the reproof will bring about a change in behavior. It should always be a loving rebuke, never an occasion to belittle another for errant behavior.” (Etz Hayyim commentary below the line. Page 696)

We shouldn't go looking for sin in the lives of other, of course. But neither should we bury our head in the sand when it needs to be confronted wisely, appropriately, and done in such a way that the reproach will be heard.

 

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