Here are some good advice. Before you book a wedding venue for your wedding, consult with the officiating Rabbi for two reasons. The first reason is he or she may already be busy and unavailable to perform the wedding. The Mishnah on daf TB Moed Katan 8b provides the second reason. There are some days when one is not allowed to marry upon and the Rabbi will advise you whether the date you wish to get married is not permitted according to Jewish law.
“MISHNA: One may not marry a woman on the
intermediate days of a Festival, not virgins and not widows, and one may not
perform levirate marriage with his sister-in-law, if his brother died
childless, because it is a joyous occasion for him.” (Sefaria.org
translation)
The
Gemara basically gives three different reasons why one may not marry during hol hamoed. “It was taught in
the mishna that one may not marry a woman on the intermediate days of a
Festival, because it is a source of joy for him. The Gemara asks: And if it
is a source of joy for him, what of it? Isn’t there is a mitzva to
rejoice on a Festival? Rav Yehuda said that Shmuel said, and,
so too, Rabbi
Elazar said that Rabbi Oshaya said, and some say that Rabbi Elazar
said that Rabbi
Ḥanina said: The reason that one may not get married on the
intermediate days of a Festival is because one may not mix one joy (simkha-שמחה) with another joy, as each
requires its own celebration…
“Ulla
said:
The reason one may not marry on the intermediate days of a Festival is due
to the excessive exertion that the wedding preparations demand,
which is prohibited during the Festival.
“Rabbi Yitzḥak Nappaḥa said: The reason is due
to the neglect of the mitzva to be fruitful and multiply. If it were
permissible to get married during the intermediate days of a Festival, people
would delay getting married until then in order to save money by avoiding the
necessity of preparing separate feasts for the Festival and for the wedding. In
the meantime they would neglect the mitzva of procreation.” (Sefaria.org translation)
Today’s daf TB Moed Katan 9 wants to provide a scriptural basis for the
reason one may not mix one joy with another joy.
“The Gemara asks: With regard to the
principle that one may not mix one joy with another joy, from
where do we derive it? The Gemara explains that the source is as it is
written with regard to the dedication of the Temple: “So Solomon held the feast at that
time, and all Israel
with him, a great congregation, from the entrance of Hamath to the Brook of
Egypt, before the Lord our God, seven days and seven days, fourteen days”
(I Kings 8:65). And if it is so that one may in fact mix
one joy with another joy, he should have waited until the festival
of Sukkot, which was the second set of seven days, and made a
feast of seven days for this and for that, i.e., for the
dedication of the Temple and for the festival of Sukkot together. The
fact that he did not do so indicates that one must not mix one joy with
another. (Sefaria.org translation)
The conclusion is based on the
wording of the verse. It could have just said that the celebration lasted 14. What
does the extra words seven days and seven days come to teach us? The first
seven days celebrated of the completion of the building of the Temple. The
second seven days celebrated the holiday of Sukkot. King Solomon sent the
people home on Shemini Atzeret. He did not mix one simkha with another simkha.
Tosefot ד"ה וּדְאֵין מְעָרְבִין שִׂמְחָה בְּשִׂמְחָה on daf 8b provides another source and the underpinning
reason why one does not mix one simkha
with another simkha. They quote the
story of Jacob marrying his two wives. He works seven years with the
expectation to marry Rachel, but on the wedding night he discovers he has
married Leah. He wants to marry Rachel now as well. His father-in-law Lavan tells
him to finish the weeklong celebration of his wedding with Leah before he can
marry Rachel in order not to mix the simkhot.
The underpinning reason is one does not make mitzvot into bundles. The issue is
one of focus. The rabbis did not believe in multitasking. If you are focusing
on the joy of the wedding, you are diminishing the appropriate attention and
behavior concerning the holiday.
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