Thursday, January 27, 2022

The dos and don’ts of mourning TB Moed Katan 15

 Today’s daf TB Megillah 15 lays out the source for ten prohibitions and three obligations the mourner observes. Now those who are ostracized (מְנוּדִּין ) and those stricken with tzar’at (מְצוֹרָעִין) share some of these prohibitions and obligations, but not all of them. The Gemara analyzes whether they observe these prohibitions and obligations or not. Since I am only going to share with you mourning halakhot, I recommend that you study the entire daf, if you’re interested in learning when these laws converge and diverge.

Instead of following the Gemara presentation of these halakhot, I’m going to present the three obligations first and then the ten prohibitions to organize these laws for you. All translations are from Sefaria.org.

The obligations:

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1.A mourner is obligated to wrap his head as a sign of mourning, covering his head and face. This is derived from the fact that the Merciful One says to Ezekiel, while he is in mourning: “And cover not your upper lip” (Ezekiel 24:17). God commands Ezekiel not to display outward signs of mourning, which proves by inference that everyone else is obligated to wrap their heads in this manner.”

2.     A mourner is obligated to rend his clothes. This is derived from the fact that the Merciful One says to the sons of Aaron: “Neither rend your clothes” (Leviticus 10:6), which proves by inference that everyone else, all other mourners, are obligated to rend their clothes.” (This is the back story. After Aaron’s two sons Nadav and Avihu died by the hands of Heaven because they offered up alien fire which God had not enjoined upon them, Moses instructed his brother the high priest how to behave. “And Moses said to Aaron and to his sons Eleazar and Ithamar, “Do not bOr “dishevel your hair.” bare your heads-b and do not rend your clothes, lest you die and anger strike the whole community. But your kinsmen, all the house of Israel, shall bewail the burning that the LORD has wrought.” (Leviticus 10:6)

3.     A mourner is obligated to overturn his bed, so that he sleeps on the underside of it, as bar Kappara taught a baraita that states: God stated: I have placed the likeness of My image [deyokan] within humans, as they were created in My image, and owing to their sins I have overturned it, as when this person died the Divine image in him was removed. Therefore, you must also overturn your beds on account of this.

Ezekiel, who was a priest himself, prophesied the word of the Lord to the Jews in Babylonia. Many times God instructs His Prophets to behave in a symbolic manner to convey His message. God tells him: “O mortal, I am about to take away the delight of your eyes from you through pestilence; but you shall not lament or weep or let your tears flow. Moan softly; observe no mourning for the dead: Put on your turban and put your sandals on your feet; do not cover over your upper lip, and do not eat the bread of comforters.”g Lit. “men.” In the evening my wife died, and in the morning I did as I had been commanded.” Tosefot ד"ה בִּשְׁאֵילַת שָׁלוֹם notes that God tells Ezekiel to act like a mourner and not like a mourner at the same time. Symbolically Ezekiel is telling the Israelites that tragically will before them, but they will not be able to show their mourning.

Those who are familiar with our mourning practices will recognize that we no longer observe wrapping our heads or overturning our beds.

The prohibitions:

1.     “The source for the halakha that it is prohibited for a mourner to receive a haircut is derived from the fact that the Merciful One states to the sons of Aaron: “Let not the hair of your heads go loose” (Leviticus 10:6). It was prohibited for them to let their hair grow long during their period of mourning over the death of their brothers, Nadav and Avihu. By inference, it is teaching that for everyone else, i.e., non-priests, it is prohibited to cut their hair during the period of mourning.”

2.     “The Gemara moves on to another halakha: A mourner is prohibited from donning phylacteries (tefillin-gg). This is derived from the fact that the Merciful One says to Ezekiel, while he is in mourning: “Bind your headwear [pe’er] upon yourself” (Ezekiel 24:17). The word pe’er alludes to phylacteries. Ezekiel was unique in that he was commanded to put on phylacteries while in mourning, which proves by inference that everyone else is prohibited from doing so.” (This halakha only applies to the first day of mourning. Shulkhan Aruk, Orekh Hayim, 38:5 and Yoreh De’ah 488:1-gg)

3.     “The Gemara continues: A mourner is prohibited from greeting others or be greeted. This is derived from the fact that the Merciful One says to Ezekiel: “Sigh in silence” (Ezekiel 24:17), implying that aside from what was absolutely essential, he was prohibited from speaking.” (During the first three days of mourning, the mourner does not greet nor respond to greetings because the sages consider these days the deepest of mourning. The rest of the week the mourner may not initiate a greeting, but may respond to one.-gg)

4.     A mourner is prohibited from studying words of Torah. This prohibition is derived from the fact that the Merciful One says to Ezekiel: “Sigh in silence” (Ezekiel 24:17). Ezekiel was commanded to be silent and not discuss even Torah matters.”

5.     A mourner is prohibited from laundering his clothes, as it is written: “And Joab sent to Tekoa, and fetched from there a wise woman, and said to her, I pray you, feign yourself to be a mourner, and put on now mourning apparel, and do not anoint yourself with oil, but be as a woman that had a long time mourned for the dead” (II Samuel 14:2).” (This is the back story. King David’s son Amnon raped his half-sister Tamar. Tamar’s brother Avshalom had Amnon murdered to avenge his sister’s violation. Avshalom fled from his father and remain away for three years. “King David was pining away for Avshalom, for [the king] had gotten over Amnon’s death.” Leviticus 13: 39)

6.     A mourner is prohibited from performing work, as it is written: “And I will turn your Festivals into mourning” (Amos 8:10). The Gemara infers: Just as a Festival is a time when it is prohibited to work, so too, a mourner is prohibited from performing work.

7.     A mourner is prohibited from bathing, as it is written: “And do not anoint yourself with oil, but be as a woman that had for a long time mourned for the dead” (II Samuel 14:2). And bathing is included in the category of anointing, as both activities have a similar goal, i.e., cleanliness.”

8.     A mourner is prohibited from wearing (only leather shoes—gg) shoes. Since the Merciful One says to Ezekiel with regard to how his mourning rites should differ from the accepted custom: “And put your shoes upon your feet” (Ezekiel 24:17), which shows by inference that everyone else, i.e., all other mourners, is prohibited from wearing shoes.”

9.     “The Gemara considers another issue: A mourner is prohibited from engaging in sexual relations, as it is written: “And David comforted Bath-Sheba his wife, and went into her, and lay with her” (II Samuel 12:24), after their son had died. This proves by inference that initially, during the period of mourning, sexual relations were forbidden.” (This is the back story. King David impregnated Bat Sheva, a woman married to Uriah, one of his soldiers. King David instructed his general Yoav to place Uriah on the front lines of a heated battle to ensure his death. When news arrived that Uriah died, King David married Bat Sheva. Their baby conceived in sin died at birth.-gg)

10.                         A mourner may not send his offerings to the Temple, as it is taught in a baraita: Rabbi Shimon says: A peace-offering [shelamim] is given this name also to teach us that one may sacrifice it only at a time when he is whole [shalem] and his mind is settled, but not at a time when he is an acute mourner, i.e., on the first day of his bereavement, when he is distressed.” (Obviously now that the Temple is destroyed and sacrifices are no longer offered, this halakha is no longer observed as well.-gg)

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