Thursday, September 30, 2021

When to reprove someone and when not to TB Beitzah 30

Although the Torah commands us to reprove the behavior of others as it is written “Reprove your kinsman but incur no guilt because of him. (Lev. 19:17),” we have to recognize that reproving is not as easy as it sounds. Rabbi Zelig Pliskin writes in his book Love Your Neighbor “It must be kept in mind that the goal of rebuke is to correct the wrong door. Therefore, a person must weigh each situation very carefully to see what will be the most effective method in that particular instance. It is especially important to exercise caution and tact… Tactless reprove can ruin the chances of influencing such a person. Very often a person should not reprove someone immediately, but should wait for an opportune moment. This takes much skill and practice, as well as patience. It is a good idea for person to consult more experienced people to find out which methods are most effective. As a rule, if someone admonishes is harsh, stern manner and with the comment such as ‘Why did you do this?’ or ‘What is the matter with you?’ it will not prove effective.” (Page 279)

Today’s daf TB Beitzah 30 goes one step further. If you know that the person will not listen to you at all, then it is better not to say anything so that he would transgress unwittingly as opposed to intentionally.

Rava bar Rav Ḥanin said to Abaye: We learned in a mishna: The Rabbis decreed that one may not clap, nor strike a hand on his thigh, nor dance on a Festival, lest he come to repair musical instruments. But nowadays we see that women do so, and yet we do not say anything to them.

He said to him: And according to your reasoning, how do you explain that which Rava said: A person should not sit at the entrance to an alleyway, next to the side post that has been placed at the edge of an alleyway in order for it to be considered a private domain, as perhaps an object will roll away from him and he will come to carry it four cubits in the public domain, thereby transgressing a biblical prohibition? But don’t these women take their jugs, and go, and sit at the entrance to an alleyway, and we do not say anything to them?

Rather, the accepted principle is: Leave the Jews alone; it is better that they be unwitting sinners and not be intentional sinners. If people engage in a certain behavior that cannot be corrected, it is better not to reprove them, as they are likely to continue regardless of the reproof, and then they will be sinning intentionally. It is therefore preferable for them to be unaware that they are violating a prohibition and remain merely unwitting sinners. Here, too, with regard to clapping and dancing, leave the Jews alone; it is better that they be unwitting sinners and not be intentional sinners.” (Sefaria.org translation)

Just yesterday we celebrated Simkhat Torah and I am willing to bet the every Jew who attended services clapped his or her hands and those who are able danced. How could all these observant Jews violate the observance of the Festival according to a Mishna?! Tosefot ד"ה אֵין מְטַפְּחִין וְאֵין מְסַפְּקִין gives a completely different reason why this prohibition is no longer in effect. They quote Rashi’s explanation why originally clapping hands and dancing were forbidden. The rabbis were afraid that people would play instruments on Yom Tov to enhance the festivity and if the instrument would break, the owner would fix it. Fixing anything on Shabbat and on a Festival is a forbidden category work; consequently, they enacted an ordinance against clapping and dancing to prevent a more serious violation. Tosefot says that we are no longer experts in fixing broken musical instruments; consequently, we would not even try to fix them. This rabbinic ordinance is no longer applicable. Clapping and dancing are now permitted.

This is just another example how the rabbis in the past were not afraid to assert their authority and make changes in Jewish law as they deemed fit. Halakha has never been static and unchanging.

 

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