Impossible conditions TB Gittin 84

I looked up how common aimicable divorces are and discovered that according to Google “It is estimated that upwards of 95% of divorces are uncontested Jan 12, 2023” Today’s daf TB Gittin 84 highlights the other 5% of divorces. The cases revolves around a husband imposing impossible conditions on his wife.

“The Sages taught (Tosefta 7:8) that if a man says to his wife: This is your bill of divorce on the condition that you ascend to the sky, or on the condition that you descend to the depths of the sea, or on the condition that you swallow a four-cubit reed, or on the condition that you bring me a hundred-cubit reed, or on the condition that you cross the Great Sea, i.e., the Mediterranean Sea, by foot, or on any other condition that it is impossible to fulfill, it is not a valid bill of divorce.

“Rabbi Yehuda ben Teima says: A bill of divorce like this is a valid bill of divorce, as the condition is void. Rabbi Yehuda ben Teima said the following principle: With regard to any condition that cannot be fulfilled in the end, yet even so the husband stipulated it initially, he is only hyperbolizing. It is assumed that he did not really intend to attach a condition to the divorce, but rather, to cause her distress, and therefore the divorce is valid without her fulfilling the condition.” (Sefaria.org translation)  

Even though the halakha usually follows the majority opinion of the rabbis, the halakha in the above cases of impossible conditions follows the individual opinion of Rabbi Yehuda ben Teima. (Rambam, Mishnah Torah, Laws of Divorce, chapter 6, halakha 7, Shulkhan Arukh, Even HaEzer 143:12)

There are many bad reasons why a former spouse wants to distress his/her former partner. I’ve seen how a former spouse has used the children as a club against his/her former partner when it comes to visitation rights or planning a bar/bat mitzvah. I think Rabbi Yehuda ben Teima is trying to teach us that we shouldn’t play such games just to distress the former spouse. If divorce is the only solution for the couple, then they should  strive to accomplish it with the minimal amount of animosity as possible.