A few years before he became the 26th U.S. president (1901–1909), Theodore Roosevelt got word that his oldest son, Theodore Jr., was ill. While his son would recover, the cause of Ted’s illness hit Roosevelt hard. Doctors told him that he was the cause of his son’s illness. Ted was suffering from “nervous exhaustion,” having been pressed unmercifully by Theodore to become the “fighter” hero-type he himself had not been during his own frail childhood. Upon hearing this, the elder Roosevelt made a promise to relent: “Hereafter I shall never press Ted either in body or mind.”
The father was true to his word. From then on he paid close attention to how he treated his son—the very same son who would one day bravely lead the landing of Allied soldiers on Utah Beach in World War II.
This week’s Torah portion, Ki Tetzei begins with a law defining minimum appropriate behavior of soldiers vis a vis women civilians. “When you take the field against your enemies…and you take some of them captives and you see among the captives a beautiful woman and you would take her to wife…she shall trim her hair, pare her nails, and discard her captive’s garb. She shall spend a month’s time in your house lamenting her father and mother; after that you may come to her…;” (Dt. 21:10-13)
The Ba’al Shem Tov, the founder the modern Hasidic movement, interprets this verse for us differently as we prepare ourselves for the upcoming High Holidays. He asks: “Who is our greatest enemy? His answer: it’s the yetzer hara, the evil inclination. We must battle it with the same amount of cunning, strategy, and determination that we would channel against a mortal enemy.”
God has entrusted each of us with influence in the lives of others. We have a deep responsibility in those relationships, not only to spouses and children, but to friends, employees, and customers. The yetzer hara tempts us to press too hard, to demand too much, to force progress, or to orchestrate success and this can lead us to harm others even when we don’t realize it.
As we approach the High Holidays trying to become the people we truly want to be in this New Year, know that we can succeed in all these worthy endeavors for the Torah emphasizes ultimate victory over our yetzer hara as it is written: “and the Lord your God delivers them into your power….” (Dt. 21:10)
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