How a woman’s status changes TB Kedushin 2

Today we begin the massekhet Kedushin and it’s the last massekhet in Seder Nashim. Kedushin is poorly translated as betrothal or engagement. In reality it is the first stage of marriage. If a man mekadesh (the verb form of kedushin) a woman, he must give his wife a get when he wants to divorce her. If a woman has an adulterous affair while she is mekudeshet, she will suffer the penalties outlined in the Torah. The second stage of marriage is nessuin.

As an introduction to our brand-new massekhet, let me quote the Rambam.

“Before the Torah was given, when a man would meet a woman in the marketplace and he and she decided to marry, he would bring her home, conduct relations in private and thus make her his wife. Once the Torah was given, the Jews were commanded that when a man desires to marry a woman, he must acquire her as a wife in the presence of witnesses. [Only] after this, does she become his wife. This is [alluded to in Deuteronomy 22:13]: "When a man takes a wife and has relations with her...."

“This process of acquisition fulfills [one of] the Torah's positive commandments. The process of acquiring a wife is formalized in three ways: through [the transfer of] money, through [the transfer of a] formal document and through sexual relations. [The effectiveness of] sexual relations and [the transfer of a] formal document have their origin in the Torah [itself], while [the effectiveness of transfer of] money is Rabbinic in origin.

This process of acquisition is universally referred to as erusin ("betrothal") or

kiddushin ("consecration"). And a woman who is acquired in any of these three ways is referred to as mekudeshet or me'ureset.” (Mishneh Torah, Laws of Marriage, Chapter 1 Halakha 1-2, Sefaria.org translation)

The first Mishna of our  massekhet uses the phrase הָאִשָּׁה נִקְנֵית (ha-esha neknait) and is usually translated as the woman is acquired. This sounds harsh to our modern ears because it seems that the woman is an object to be acquired. Although women did not have the same status as a man, she still was her own person. Perhaps a better translation of נִקְנֵית is “the status of a woman changes (from a single woman to a married woman).”

Today’s daf TB Kiddushin 2 reaffirms the idea that the woman is not an object to be acquired because she has to agree to become mekudeshet. The Gemara explains why the Mishnah chooses to begin with the feminine a woman becomes נִקְנֵית and not a man who קוֹנָה a woman.

“And if you wish, say instead another explanation. If the mishna had taught: The man acquires the woman, I would say that he can acquire her even against her will, as indicated by the expression: He acquires. One might have assumed that the betrothal depends on the husband, without the need for the woman’s consent. Therefore the mishna taught: The woman is acquired, from which it may be inferred that with her consent, yes, he can acquire her as a wife, but when he acts without her consent, no, she is not betrothed to him.” (Sefaria.org translation)