Is there a yad for betrothal or not? TB Nedarim 6

 Today’s daf TB Nedarim 6 asks a very interesting question. Can the concept of a yad (יָד), a fragmented sentence, be extended to other areas of halakha beyond nedarim, vows? The first case study is within the realm of kiddushin, betrothal.

There is a clear difference between vows and betrothal. Speaking is enough to effect the vow; however, speaking is not sufficient to effect betrothal. Besides saying you are betrothed unto me, the man must do an action whether it is giving the woman something valuable like a ring or a betrothal document. Is this or isn’t this enough of a difference to say whether the concept of a yad also applies to kiddushin, betrothal or not?

When a man gives two things of value to the first woman “You are hereby betrothed to me, and he said to another woman: And you too, isn’t it obvious that this is betrothal itself, and it takes effect” (Sefaria.org translation) Because the first woman acts as an agent for the second woman by accepting one of the valuable things, both women are betrothed. I’m sure the second woman is not a happy camper in this situation and if I were her I would refuse to become betrothed to such a man. When the man just says, “where one said to a woman: You are hereby betrothed to me, and he said to another woman: And you” is the fragment “And you” enough for fragmented sentence to effectuate betrothal? “Do we say that he said the other woman: And you too are betrothed, and betrothal takes effect with regard to the other woman, or perhaps he said to the other woman: And you see that I am betrothing this woman, and betrothal does not take effect with regard to the other woman?” (Sefaria.org translation)

The Gemara leaves this issue unresolved. There are some who explain the reason why there is the concept of a yad when comes to kiddushin because kiddushin and sacrifices have something in common. First of all, we can establish that vows apply to sacrifices because one can make a vow to bring a sacrifice. These two concepts, sacrifices and betrothal, have a common root of ק ד ש. Something that is set-aside for a sacrifice is called הֶיקְדֵש (hekdash) and betrothal is קִדוּשִׁן (kiddushin). When a man betroths a woman, she becomes forbidden to the rest of the whole world like hekdash becomes forbidden for any other purpose. (Tosefot, TB Kiddushin 7a)

Rambam and Joseph Karo say you need clarity to betroth a woman. Consequently when a man says “and you too” as stated above, both women are betrothed. However, if he only says “and you,” the second woman may or may not be betrothed because the fragment is too ambiguous. This is a doubtful case concerning a woman’s status. (Mishneh Torah, Sefer Nashim, Marriage, chapter 4, halakha 2; Shulkhan Arukh, Even Ha’ezer, 36:9)  Because this is a doubtful case concerning a woman’s marital status, many poskim rule stringently that she is not betrothed at all. Even though this is a stringency, I can see the woman breathing a sigh of relief that she’s not betrothed to such an inconsiderate man.