Tuesday, October 13, 2020

Personal traits that reveal who you truly are TB Eruvin 65

Today’s daf TB Eruvin contains good advice and two very famous statements that I’ll share with you. A person needs clarity of mind when making important decisions. “The Gemara relates that Rabbi Ḥanina, on a day that he was angry, would not pray, as he said that it is written: When distressed, one should not issue decisions. The Gemara similarly relates that Mar Ukva, on a day of a south wind, would not venture out to the court, for this hot and harsh wind would disturb his usual clarity of mind.” (Sefaria.org translation)

Obviously when a person is unsettled, he is more likely to make mistakes in his decisions. “Dr. Thomas Holmes, a psychiatrist has isolated 43 events or crises that the average person may expect to experience and give them stress ratings, which he calls ‘life change units’. The death of a spouse, by far the most stressful, is rated at 100 life change units. Death of a close family member, other than spouse, 63 life change units, personal injury or illness 53 life change units, change to a different line of work 36 life change units, foreclosure of a mortgage or loan 30 life change units, trouble with in-laws 29 life change units.”[1] The higher the stress the more you should put off important large decisions like selling a house and moving out of town. They can wait until time has passed and the person is thinking clearer.

Gemara is a method of seeking hidden meeting in words. Each letter is assigned a numerical value. By adding the numerical values of the letters that make up a word is a way to discover new meaning. On the topic of wine, the Gemara tells us that the numerical value of wine (יַיִן), 70, equals the numerical value of the Hebrew word secret (סוֹד), which is also 70. “Rabbi Ḥiyya said: Anyone who remains settled of mind after drinking wine, and does not become intoxicated, has an element of the mind-set of seventy Elders. The allusion is: Wine [yayin spelled yod, yod, nun] was given in seventy letters, as the numerological value of the letters comprising the word is seventy, as yod equals ten and nun equals fifty. Similarly, the word secret [sod spelled samekh, vav, dalet] was given in seventy letters, as samekh equals sixty, vav equals six, and dalet equals four. Typically, when wine entered the body, a secret emerged. Whoever does not reveal secrets when he drinks is clearly blessed with a firm mind, like that of seventy Elders.” I think just the opposite will happen. When a person drinks, inhibitions will loosen and secrets will come pouring out because he has no self-control.

The second famous statement found in today’s daf is “Rabbi Elai said: In three matters a person’s true character is ascertained; in his cup, i.e., his behavior when he drinks; in his pocket, i.e., his conduct in his financial dealings with other people; and in his anger. And some say: A person also reveals his real nature in his laughter.” In Hebrew the alliteration is clear

בִּשְׁלֹשָׁה דְּבָרִים אָדָם נִיכָּר: בְּכוֹסוֹ, וּבְכִיסוֹ וּבְכַעְסוֹ. וְאָמְרִי לֵיהּ אַף בְּשַׂחֲקוֹ.


I have always understood this saying a bit differently. A person is known by his cup meaning how generous he is in sharing his food and drink not only to his invited guests, but to the poor in his midst. A person is known by his pocket by how generously he donates his tzedakah to the many worthy causes. A person is known not only how he controls his anger, but what he gets angry over. Similarly a person is known by what he laughs at and makes fun of.



[1] Widow by Lynn Caine, pages 80-81

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