Would she shave her head for you? TB Nazir 28

We would have to come to the conclusion that on daf TB Nazir 28 that Rabbi Meir would disagree with this custom of shaving a woman’s hair off. We reach this conclusion by seeing the answer to the question on the daf, up to what point in the purification process a husband can nullify his wife’s vow to be a nazir.

“In what case is this statement, that a husband cannot nullify his wife’s vow, said? It is with regard to a shaving of ritual purity; however, with regard to a shaving of impurity the husband can nullify it if he wishes. And Rabbi Meir says: He may even nullify the vow at her shaving of purity because he can say: I do not want a shaven wife.

"The Gemara analyzes these opinions: And the first tanna could have said to you in response to Rabbi Meir’s argument: It is possible for her to compensate by wearing a wig, and therefore she would not appear shaven, and her husband would have no cause for complaint. And Rabbi Meir holds: As for compensating by wearing a wig, since it is dirty he is not amenable to this solution, and he may therefore nullify her vow.” (Sefaria.org translation)

According to classical Jewish law, the entire woman’s body is considered nude. Consequently, for modesty purposes a woman must cover herself in long sleeves and in a long dress. Even a married woman’s hair must be covered for modesty purposes. Some Orthodox women wear a scarf, hat, or wig to cover their hair. Although most observant women do not shave their heads, some Hassidic women shave their hair off and wear a wig after marriage as an extra stringency. These wigs can cost in the neighborhood of $500-$1500. Many women will buy two, one for weekdays and one for Shabbat.

Frimet Goldberger, an ex- Satmar Hassidic woman wrote about her experiences of shaving her head after marriage. “I remember the first time I felt the cold, prickly air on my newly shaved head. I remember looking in the mirror. I remember staring at the pile of auburn hair in the vanity sink of the cozy basement apartment I now shared with my husband of less than a day. I remember my mother gathering the hair into a garbage bag and disposing of it, unaffectedly. I remember placing the new wig on my bare head and fussing over the few stray hairs the shaytl makher, or wig stylist, forgot to spray into place.

“The morning after my wedding, three months after my 18th birthday, my mother shaved my head, and I felt absolutely nothing. Was I supposed to feel sad at this loss? Was I supposed to feel violated? I did not. Married women shave their heads because Hashem and the rebbe command them to do so. According to the Talmud, a woman’s uncovered hair is equivalent to physical nudity. Hasidic rabbis have taken this a step further, requiring women to shave their heads to ensure that not a single hair is seen. For Satmar women like me, it is a grave sin not to shave. You would not be buried in the Satmar beys-hakhayim (cemetery-gg), and if that weren’t serious enough, you would also put your “children, live and unborn, at imminent risk of terrible diseases.

“The Satmar Rebbe, Yoel Teitelbaum, famously gave emotional, tear-jerking speeches against married women growing their own hair. “Jewish daughters, our mothers and fathers gave up their lives to our Father in Heaven for the sanctity of His name, but you, their daughters, don’t want to give up even a few hairs?” he asked in a speech on Yom Kippur eve in 1951, according to “The Rebbe,” a 2010 biography by Dovid Meisels. “What does Hashem Yisbarach (God) ask of us? A few hairs! Because of a few hairs you are making yourselves lose both worlds. Jewish daughters, shave your hair and give honor to the Torah.” (https://forward.com/culture/187128/ex-hasidic-woman-marks-five-years-since-she-shaved/) The article continues why and when she left the Satmar community and stop shaving her head. ”

I spent my junior year in college at Hebrew University in Jerusalem. One day I accompanied one of my best friends to Tel Aviv. I think we must have gone to see a Marx Brothers movie. We took advantage of this opportunity in Tel Aviv to visit his first cousin once removed. I remember that he was trying to fix my friend up with a young woman he knew. One of his “selling points” was that she was willing to shave her head for him. Nothing came of that match because a shaven wife was not in his nor my future. In other words we couldn’t agree more with Rabbi Meir.