One of my most favorite mitzvot can be found in this week's Torah portion Ki Tetze. “When you reap the harvest in your field and overlook a sheaf in the field, do not turn back to get it; it shall go to the stranger, the fatherless, and the widow-in order that the Lord your God may bless you and all your undertakings." (Deuteronomy 24:19) This mitzvah is called in Hebrew Shekhikha and in English Forgetting. I like this mitzvah so much because I'm very good at forgetting. Ask my wife or my children and they will tell you so.

The Etz Hayyim commentary below the line says, "This is the rare mitzvah that cannot be performed on purpose. One cannot choose to forget or overlook a sheaf of grain." (Page 1131) That is true when it comes to harvesting our produce; however as we approach the High Holidays and we want to repair our relationships with other people forgetting is a very useful tool.

Rabbi Sidney Greenberg wrote about the fine art of forgetting in his book Lessons for Living: "Ingrid Bergman once said that she was fortunate to process the two assets which happiness depends- good health and a poor memory. That talented lady gave us a much needed reminder that the ability to forget is no less important than ability to remember... Many of us could use that gift (of forgetting). So many families remain splintered and fragmented because of some slight, real or imagined, suffered long years ago which the offended party cannot or will not forget... Many a marriage could stand a healthy dose of forgetting. One man complained to his friend that whenever his wife gets angry she becomes historical. ‘You mean hysterical’ the friend corrected him.  ‘No,’ said the husband ‘I mean historical. She starts listing everything I did wrong the last 27 years.’… So many lives are cluttered with all kinds of destructive memories. They carry accumulated resentments, hurts, sorrows and disappointments suffered in the arena life. The price for such remembering is exorbitant. It includes our emotional and mental health. When Torah admonishes us not to ‘bear a grudge,’ it is urging us for our own sake to use our God-given power to forget”

Rabbi Greenberg concludes with a few lines from an anonymous poet:

This world would be for us a happier place

And there would be less of regretting

If we would remember to practice with grace

 The very fine art of forgetting.