According to the dictionary, flattery is excessive and insincere praise, given especially to further one's own interests. Hank Ketchum wrote, “Flattery is like chewing. Enjoyed, but don’t swallow it.” We should be people of integrity whose words mean what they say. No wonder the sages on our daf TB Sotah 41 condemned flattery.
“Rabbi Shimon ben Ḥalafta says: From the day that the power
of flattery prevailed when the sages flattered King Agrippa), the
judgment has become corrupted, and people’s deeds have become corrupted, and a person
cannot say to another: My deeds are greater than your deeds, as everyone
flatters one another and people no longer know the truth…
“Rabbi Elazar says: Any person who has flattery in him brings wrath to the world, as it is stated: ‘But those with flattery in their hearts bring about wrath’ (Job 36:13). And moreover, his prayer is not heard, as it is stated in that same verse: ‘They do not cry for help when He binds them.’
“And Rabbi Elazar says: Any person who has flattery in him falls into Gehenna, as it is stated: ‘Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil’ (Isaiah 5:20). What is written afterward? ‘Therefore, as the tongue of fire devours straw, and as the chaff is consumed by the flame’ (Isaiah 5:24), meaning that the people described in the earlier verse will end up burning like straw in the fires of Gehenna…
(And on daf 42a) And
Rabbi Elazar says: Any congregation in which there is flattery is ultimately
exiled. It is written here: “For a flattering congregation shall be desolate [galmud]” (Job 15:34), and it is written
there: “Then you will say in your heart: Who has begotten me these, seeing I
have been bereaved of my children, and am solitary [galmuda], an exile,
and wandering?” (Isaiah 49:21). The verse states: “An exile,” as an
appositive to “galmuda,” indicating that they are the same.
Rabbi
Yirmeya bar Abba says: Four classes of people will not greet the Divine Presence: The class
of cynics, and the class of flatterers, and the class of liars, and the class
of slanderers.” (Sefaria.org translation)
Perhaps
there’s a good side to flattery as well. Flattery can be an aspirational tool
to inspire people to become the best version of themselves. By flattering a
person, one is providing an image of what the person can grow into. Here is an
interesting link about flattering being something positive. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q57uokrSgsY
As
with many other things in life, flattery can be both good and bad depending on
the context.
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