When I’m careful about secluding myself with women TB Kiddushin 81

For us mortals the yetzer har’a, the evil inclination, is strong and sometimes hard to overcome. Today’s daf TB Kiddushin 81 provides many stories of great rabbis who nearly succumbed to temptation. Here are just two examples

“The Gemara relates: Rabbi Meir would ridicule transgressors by saying it is easy to avoid temptation. One day, Satan appeared to him as a woman standing on the other side of the river. Since there was no ferry to cross the river, he took hold of a rope bridge and crossed the river. When he reached halfway across the rope bridge, the evil inclination left him and said to him: Were it not for the fact that they proclaim about you in heaven: Be careful with regard to Rabbi Meir and his Torah, I would have made your blood like two ma’a, i.e., completely worthless, since you would have fallen completely from your spiritual level.

“Rabbi Akiva would likewise ridicule transgressors. One day, Satan appeared to him as a woman at the top of a palm tree. Rabbi Akiva grabbed hold of the palm tree and began climbing. When he was halfway up the palm tree, the evil inclination left him and said to him: Were it not for the fact that they proclaim about you in heaven: Be careful with regard to Rabbi Akiva and his Torah, I would have made your blood like two ma’a.” (Sefaria.org translation)

I think this fear of the yetzer har’a motivated the rabbis to forbid seclusion with women who are not their wives. Nevertheless, this prohibition was not a blanket prohibition.

“The mishna teaches: But one woman may be secluded with two men. Rav Yehuda says that Rav says: They taught this halakha only with regard to men of fit morals, but with regard to those steeped in sexual immorality, she may not be secluded even with ten men…Rabba says: If a woman’s husband is in town, there is no concern due to her being secluded with a man. People are afraid to sin with her, since they cannot be sure when her husband will return. Rav Yosef says: If there is an open entrance to the public domain there is no concern due to being secluded.” (Sefaria.org translation)

There is one area in the rabbinate where I take seclusion with a woman and a student cautiously. Just as much as I want to protect the woman and the student from abuse, I also want to protect myself from false accusations. Consequently, if I’m counseling a woman or tutoring a student, I make sure that my door of my office or classroom is wide open so that anybody passing by can see that nothing inappropriately is happening. Sometimes I will even have my secretary interrupt the session just to be a witness that I innocent of all potential false accusations.